# Alyce Cleese
**Alyce Cleese** (Alyce Faye Eichelberger Cleese, née McBride; born 1944) is an American psychotherapist, author, and talk radio host, known for her book *How to Manage Your Mother* (1999, with the psychologist Brian Bates) and for her marriage to the actor and comedian [John Cleese](https://www.edgepedia.org/john-cleese).[1](https://www.frederickokchamber.org/notable) • [2](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0251474/)
| Key fact | Detail |
|---|---|
| Born | Alyce Faye McBride, 1944, USA; childhood in Frederick, Oklahoma[2](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0251474/) • [3](https://iol.co.za/entertainment/celebrity-news/2009-08-21-malice-of-alyce-the-ex-who-made-a-fool-of-cleese/) |
| Profession | Psychotherapist for more than thirty years; adolescent work at the Tavistock Clinic and a private practice for adults in London[4](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/getting-real-with-your-mother/) |
| Education | Degrees and training from Oklahoma State, Baylor, and London universities; psychotherapy study at the Tavistock Clinic under Anna Freud's instruction[4](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/getting-real-with-your-mother/) • [3](https://iol.co.za/entertainment/celebrity-news/2009-08-21-malice-of-alyce-the-ex-who-made-a-fool-of-cleese/) |
| Book | *How to Manage Your Mother*, with Brian Bates (Metro, London, 1999; 278 pages)[5](https://obnb.uk/p9491288-how-to-manage-your-mother) |
| Marriages | Martin Eichelberger (22 January 1966 to 1975, two children); John Cleese (28 December 1992 to January 2008, divorced)[6](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0251474/bio/) • [7](https://www.encyclopedia.com/people/literature-and-arts/film-and-television-biographies/john-cleese) |
| Divorce settlement | Reported as £8 million in cash and assets plus £600,000 a year for seven years; other reports give £12.3 million or $20 million[3](https://iol.co.za/entertainment/celebrity-news/2009-08-21-malice-of-alyce-the-ex-who-made-a-fool-of-cleese/) • [8](https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/comedy/reviews/john-cleese-alimony-tour-corn-exchange-cambridge-2278980.html) • [9](https://thewest.com.au/news/wa/cleese-trump-is-an-asshole-and-other-important-matters-ng-ya-115171) |
| Recognition | Oklahoma State University College of Education Hall of Fame inductee, 2007[10](https://news.okstate.edu/site-files/im-files/images/archives/stories/osuheadlines/headlines_052307.pdf) |
## Early life and education
Alyce Faye McBride was born in 1944 in the United States[2](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0251474/). She grew up in "cattle country" in Frederick, Oklahoma, where her mother was a teacher and her father a cabinet maker who could barely read[3](https://iol.co.za/entertainment/celebrity-news/2009-08-21-malice-of-alyce-the-ex-who-made-a-fool-of-cleese/). The Frederick Chamber of Commerce, which lists her among the town's notable citizens, describes her as an accomplished American psychotherapist, author, and talk radio host[1](https://www.frederickokchamber.org/notable).
Her professional training spanned three universities: publisher biographies describe her as a psychotherapist with degrees and training from Oklahoma State, Baylor, and London universities[4](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/getting-real-with-your-mother/). After coming to England with her children, she studied psychotherapy at the Tavistock Clinic under [Anna Freud](https://www.edgepedia.org/anna-freud)'s instruction and lived in a council flat in [North London](https://www.edgepedia.org/north-london)[3](https://iol.co.za/entertainment/celebrity-news/2009-08-21-malice-of-alyce-the-ex-who-made-a-fool-of-cleese/).
## Psychotherapy career
She treated adolescents at the Tavistock Clinic and worked with a wide range of adult patients at her private practice in London[4](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/getting-real-with-your-mother/).
**How to Manage Your Mother.** With Brian Bates, a psychologist, she wrote *How to Manage Your Mother: Understanding the Most Difficult, Complicated, and Fascinating Relationship in Your Life*, published by Metro in London in 1999 (278 pages, ISBN 1900512858)[5](https://obnb.uk/p9491288-how-to-manage-your-mother). The book gathers stories from well-known figures in politics and show business, including [Helena Bonham Carter](https://www.edgepedia.org/helena-bonham-carter), Colin Powell, Mia Farrow, Michael Palin, and [Lauren Hutton](https://www.edgepedia.org/lauren-hutton), and sets out a practical ten-step plan with a questionnaire for improving the mother-child relationship[11](https://www.abebooks.com/manage-mother-Alyce-Faye-Cleese-Brian/31367753535/bd) • [12](https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/357656/how-to-manage-your-mother-by-alyce-faye-cleese-and-brian-bates/9780099451976). Its central advice, as she explained in a 1999 Guardian interview, is that the reader cannot change the mother but can change herself: "Ask, what am I doing to exacerbate the difficulties? She may not change, but you can."[13](https://www.theguardian.com/world/1999/mar/11/gender.uk1) An Arrow paperback edition of 272 pages followed in 2003[12](https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/357656/how-to-manage-your-mother-by-alyce-faye-cleese-and-brian-bates/9780099451976).
She has also worked in broadcasting and on boards. A Santa Barbara court case over a radio station's programming noted that a profile of Alyce Faye Eichelberger Cleese had been requested for the station 1290 AM, consistent with her work as a talk radio host[14](https://www.independent.com/2010/02/07/roberts-beats-mccaw-900000-0/). She served on the Board of Trustees of the [Esalen Institute](https://www.edgepedia.org/esalen-institute) in [Big Sur](https://www.edgepedia.org/big-sur), California, appearing in the institute's 2006 catalog[15](https://www.cinematherapy.com/pressclippings/esalencat07.pdf), and on the board of the American Associates of the National Theatre, listed in the National Theatre's 2012 to 2013 annual report[16](https://d1wf8hd6ovssje.cloudfront.net/documents/Annual_Report_2012-2013.pdf). In 2007 the Oklahoma State University College of Education inducted her into its Hall of Fame, the college's highest honor, as a psychotherapist and renowned author[10](https://news.okstate.edu/site-files/im-files/images/archives/stories/osuheadlines/headlines_052307.pdf).
## Marriage to John Cleese
Her first marriage, to Martin Eichelberger, lasted from 22 January 1966 to 1975 and produced two children[6](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0251474/bio/); her sons from that marriage are Martin and Clinton Eichelberger[17](https://calperformances.org/learn/program_notes/2005/pn_Cleese.pdf).
She met John Cleese when both attended a party in London[3](https://iol.co.za/entertainment/celebrity-news/2009-08-21-malice-of-alyce-the-ex-who-made-a-fool-of-cleese/). They married on 28 December 1992[7](https://www.encyclopedia.com/people/literature-and-arts/film-and-television-biographies/john-cleese). The couple had no children together and moved to California after the success of Cleese's film *A Fish Called Wanda*, sharing a house with llamas, goats, chinchillas, and horses; Cleese credited her with helping him during a period of depression[3](https://iol.co.za/entertainment/celebrity-news/2009-08-21-malice-of-alyce-the-ex-who-made-a-fool-of-cleese/). Through her marriage she became stepmother of his daughter Cynthia Cleese[2](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0251474/).
**Divorce and settlement.** The marriage ended in divorce in January 2008[2](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0251474/). The financial settlement drew wide press coverage. The *Mail on Sunday*-sourced report in the *IoL* gave £8 million in cash and assets plus £600,000 a year for the next seven years, finalized in California, and noted the astonishment of many observers given that the pair had no children together[3](https://iol.co.za/entertainment/celebrity-news/2009-08-21-malice-of-alyce-the-ex-who-made-a-fool-of-cleese/). The *Independent* reported in 2011 that Cleese owed £12.3 million and had sold numerous residences to pay it, touring in his one-man Alimony Tour to meet the remaining amount[8](https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/comedy/reviews/john-cleese-alimony-tour-corn-exchange-cambridge-2278980.html). Cleese himself later described the settlement as a $20 million divorce award that he had only recently finished paying[9](https://thewest.com.au/news/wa/cleese-trump-is-an-asshole-and-other-important-matters-ng-ya-115171). The couple did not speak after the divorce[18](https://biographyonline.net/actors/john-cleese-biography.html).
## References
1. [Notable Citizens of Frederick, Oklahoma, Frederick Chamber of Commerce](https://www.frederickokchamber.org/notable)
2. [Alyce Faye Eichelberger, IMDb](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0251474/)
3. [Malice of Alyce: the ex who made a fool of Cleese, IoL (2009)](https://iol.co.za/entertainment/celebrity-news/2009-08-21-malice-of-alyce-the-ex-who-made-a-fool-of-cleese/)
4. [Getting Real With Your Mother, CBS News (2000)](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/getting-real-with-your-mother/)
5. [How to manage your mother, OBNB](https://obnb.uk/p9491288-how-to-manage-your-mother)
6. [Alyce Faye Eichelberger, Biografía, IMDb](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0251474/bio/)
7. [Cleese, John, Encyclopedia.com](https://www.encyclopedia.com/people/literature-and-arts/film-and-television-biographies/john-cleese)
8. [John Cleese Alimony Tour, Corn Exchange, Cambridge, The Independent (2011)](https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/comedy/reviews/john-cleese-alimony-tour-corn-exchange-cambridge-2278980.html)
9. [Cleese: Trump is an asshole and other important matters, The West Australian](https://thewest.com.au/news/wa/cleese-trump-is-an-asshole-and-other-important-matters-ng-ya-115171)
10. [OSU Headlines, May 23, 2007, Oklahoma State University](https://news.okstate.edu/site-files/im-files/images/archives/stories/osuheadlines/headlines_052307.pdf)
11. [How to manage your mother, The Book Cellar via AbeBooks](https://www.abebooks.com/manage-mother-Alyce-Faye-Cleese-Brian/31367753535/bd)
12. [How To Manage Your Mother, Penguin Books UK](https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/357656/how-to-manage-your-mother-by-alyce-faye-cleese-and-brian-bates/9780099451976)
13. [Mother, Moonface and me, The Guardian (1999)](https://www.theguardian.com/world/1999/mar/11/gender.uk1)
14. [Roberts Beats McCaw, $900,000 - $0, The Santa Barbara Independent (2010)](https://www.independent.com/2010/02/07/roberts-beats-mccaw-900000-0/)
15. [Esalen Institute catalog, 2006-07](https://www.cinematherapy.com/pressclippings/esalencat07.pdf)
16. [National Theatre Annual Report and Financial Statements 2012-2013](https://d1wf8hd6ovssje.cloudfront.net/documents/Annual_Report_2012-2013.pdf)
17. [Cal Performances program notes on John Cleese (2005)](https://calperformances.org/learn/program_notes/2005/pn_Cleese.pdf)
18. [John Cleese biography, Biography Online](https://biographyonline.net/actors/john-cleese-biography.html)
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*Topic: Encyclopedia › Life and health › Human health and medicine › Mental health › Psychiatry, care systems & society › Notable psychiatric professionals*
*Initially written Sep 17, 2026 · Reviewed: Sep 17, 2026; Sep 20, 2026; Sep 30, 2026; Oct 21, 2026 · Edited: Sep 20, 2026; Oct 11, 2026; Oct 12, 2026; Oct 15, 2026; Oct 21, 2026; Oct 25, 2026 · Last review: Oct 21, 2026*
*Copyright 2026 EdgeChat AI, a subsidiary of Biostate AI.*
License: Edgepedia Community License 1.0, https://www.edgepedia.org/edgepedia/license