# You Hurt My Feelings (2023 film)
**You Hurt My Feelings** is a 2023 American comedy-drama written and directed by [Nicole Holofcener](https://www.edgepedia.org/nicole-holofcener), in which a novelist's longstanding marriage is upended when she overhears her husband give his honest, unenthusiastic reaction to her new book.[1](https://a24films.com/films/you-hurt-my-feelings) It stars [Julia Louis-Dreyfus](https://www.edgepedia.org/julia-louis-dreyfus) and [Tobias Menzies](https://www.edgepedia.org/tobias-menzies) as the couple, and was released in theaters by A24 on May 26, 2023 after premiering at the Sundance Film Festival in January.[1](https://a24films.com/films/you-hurt-my-feelings) • [2](https://time.com/6250832/you-hurt-my-feelings-review/)
| Key fact | Detail |
|---|---|
| Written and directed by | Nicole Holofcener[1](https://a24films.com/films/you-hurt-my-feelings) |
| Premiere and release | Sundance Film Festival, January 2023; A24 theatrical release May 26, 2023[2](https://time.com/6250832/you-hurt-my-feelings-review/) • [1](https://a24films.com/films/you-hurt-my-feelings) |
| Runtime | 1 hour 33 minutes[1](https://a24films.com/films/you-hurt-my-feelings) |
| Principal cast | Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Tobias Menzies, Michaela Watkins, Arian Moayed, Owen Teague, Amber Tamblyn, David Cross, Jeannie Berlin[1](https://a24films.com/films/you-hurt-my-feelings) • [3](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20GWk5cWPBs) |
| Rating | R (Motion Picture Association), for language[4](https://www.arabtimesonline.com/uploads/imported_images/pdf/2023/may/31/ATKWT20230531.pdf) |
| Streaming | Paramount+ from January 26, 2024[5](https://apnews.com/article/5fc9b6b0bbf0375acabbd994bc490ca3) |
## Spoilers
### Plot and characters
Beth (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) is a New York author and creative writing teacher who published a moderately successful memoir about the verbal abuse she suffered as a child and is now finishing a novel.[6](https://www.washingtonpost.com/movies/2023/05/23/you-hurt-my-feelings-movie-review/) Her husband Don (Tobias Menzies) is a psychotherapist whose practice has grown stale; he has read each draft of her book with unfailing enthusiasm.[7](https://www.bfi.org.uk/sight-and-sound/reviews/you-hurt-my-feelings-lukewarm-effort-from-nicole-holofcener) • [6](https://www.washingtonpost.com/movies/2023/05/23/you-hurt-my-feelings-movie-review/) When Beth overhears Don telling his brother-in-law Mark ([Arian Moayed](https://www.edgepedia.org/arian-moayed)) that he does not think the new book is as good as her memoir, she spirals into a crisis of faith in the marriage that has been her rock.[8](https://www.wbur.org/hereandnow/2023/05/22/you-hurt-my-feelings-holofcener) • [7](https://www.bfi.org.uk/sight-and-sound/reviews/you-hurt-my-feelings-lukewarm-effort-from-nicole-holofcener) The overheard confession takes place near the sock wall at the Paragon Sports store in Union Square.[2](https://time.com/6250832/you-hurt-my-feelings-review/)
Everyone around Beth carries a parallel insecurity. Her sister Sarah ([Michaela Watkins](https://www.edgepedia.org/michaela-watkins)), an interior decorator, battles a client who rejects every light fixture she proposes; Mark, an actor, lands a part he doubts he can play; and Don fumbles his practice, mixing up patients and losing a long-treated bickering couple ([David Cross](https://www.edgepedia.org/david-cross) and [Amber Tamblyn](https://www.edgepedia.org/amber-tamblyn)) who turn their shared anger on him.[2](https://time.com/6250832/you-hurt-my-feelings-review/) Jeannie Berlin plays Sarah and Beth's mother, Georgia, whose blunt criticism challenges Beth's insistence on perfect honesty.[2](https://time.com/6250832/you-hurt-my-feelings-review/) • [6](https://www.washingtonpost.com/movies/2023/05/23/you-hurt-my-feelings-movie-review/) Owen Teague plays Beth and Don's adult son, Elliot.[2](https://time.com/6250832/you-hurt-my-feelings-review/)
## Themes
The film examines the white lies told to protect the feelings of people we love, and what happens when one is overheard.[9](https://digital.abcaudio.com/news/little-white-lie-spells-big-trouble-julia-louis-dreyfus-and-company-new-film-you-hurt-my) Holofcener has said the story came from a personal fear that people close to her might not like her films, asking whether someone can like her if they do not like her work.[9](https://digital.abcaudio.com/news/little-white-lie-spells-big-trouble-julia-louis-dreyfus-and-company-new-film-you-hurt-my) She originally considered making Louis-Dreyfus's character an actor, then made her a writer, "maybe, because that's what I do, I suppose."[10](https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2023/05/you-hurt-my-feelings-nicole-holofcener-interview)
The film deliberately offers no easy answer. Menzies noted that Beth's mother is quite honest and that this also complicates things, so the film does not present constant truth-telling as the solution.[11](https://www.washingtonpost.com/washington-post-live/2023/05/22/transcript-you-hurt-my-feelings-conversation-with-julia-louis-dreyfus-tobias-menzies/) Reviewers read the film's question differently: the Washington Post's Ann Hornaday saw the cardinal emotion as self-deception and the lengths we go to protect the self-mythologies of loved ones,[6](https://www.washingtonpost.com/movies/2023/05/23/you-hurt-my-feelings-movie-review/) while the Psychotherapy Networker review framed it as being about the ethics of truth telling and the hurt caused by too much or too little interpersonal honesty.[12](https://www.psychotherapynetworker.org/article/is-honesty-the-best-policy-a-review-of-you-hurt-my-feelings/)
## Production
You Hurt My Feelings reunited Louis-Dreyfus with Holofcener after her 2013 romantic comedy [Enough Said](https://www.edgepedia.org/enough-said).[10](https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2023/05/you-hurt-my-feelings-nicole-holofcener-interview) It was Holofcener's first feature as writer-director since The Land of Steady Habits (2018); in the intervening years her writing credits included a pass on Marvel's Black Widow and a co-writing credit on [Ridley Scott](https://www.edgepedia.org/ridley-scott)'s The Last Duel with [Ben Affleck](https://www.edgepedia.org/ben-affleck) and Matt Damon.[10](https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2023/05/you-hurt-my-feelings-nicole-holofcener-interview) Financing was difficult until A24 came aboard, and Holofcener got only 22 days to shoot, the shortest schedule she had ever had.[10](https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2023/05/you-hurt-my-feelings-nicole-holofcener-interview)
## Release and reception
The film premiered at the [Sundance Film Festival](https://www.edgepedia.org/sundance-film-festival) in January 2023 to an enthusiastic response, with the Guardian's Sundance review calling it "another winner" and [Sight and Sound](https://www.edgepedia.org/sight-and-sound)'s review calling it a lukewarm effort undermined by an undercooked script.[13](https://www.theguardian.com/film/2023/jan/23/you-hurt-my-feelings-review-nicole-holofcener-delivers-another-winner) • [7](https://www.bfi.org.uk/sight-and-sound/reviews/you-hurt-my-feelings-lukewarm-effort-from-nicole-holofcener) A24 released it theatrically on May 26, 2023, the Friday of Memorial Day weekend; per the GLAAD 2024 Studio Responsibility Index its widest theatrical release was 912 theaters.[1](https://a24films.com/films/you-hurt-my-feelings) • [14](https://assets.glaad.org/m/552a8fb05724255c/original/GLAAD-2024-Studio-Responsibility-Index.pdf) It began streaming on [Paramount+](https://www.edgepedia.org/paramount) on January 26, 2024.[5](https://apnews.com/article/5fc9b6b0bbf0375acabbd994bc490ca3)
## Other films of the same title
A separate American comedy-drama titled You Hurt My Feelings, directed and written by [Steve Collins](https://www.edgepedia.org/steve-collins), was released in 2012 with a New York opening on May 4, 2012, running 97 minutes and starring John Merriman, Macon Blair, and Courtney Davis.[15](https://catalog.afi.com/Film/68730-YOU-HURT-MY-FEELINGS)
## References
1. [You Hurt My Feelings, A24 official film page](https://a24films.com/films/you-hurt-my-feelings)
2. [You Hurt My Feelings Is Wryly Delightful, Time review](https://time.com/6250832/you-hurt-my-feelings-review/)
3. [You Hurt My Feelings | Official Trailer HD | A24, YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20GWk5cWPBs)
4. [Arab Times entertainment pages, May 31, 2023 (AP material, rating note)](https://www.arabtimesonline.com/uploads/imported_images/pdf/2023/may/31/ATKWT20230531.pdf)
5. [What to stream this week, AP News, January 19, 2024](https://apnews.com/article/5fc9b6b0bbf0375acabbd994bc490ca3)
6. [You Hurt My Feelings: Relationship comedy perfection, The Washington Post review](https://www.washingtonpost.com/movies/2023/05/23/you-hurt-my-feelings-movie-review/)
7. [You Hurt My Feelings: a lukewarm effort from Nicole Holofcener, Sight and Sound](https://www.bfi.org.uk/sight-and-sound/reviews/you-hurt-my-feelings-lukewarm-effort-from-nicole-holofcener)
8. [A24's You Hurt My Feelings asks, how much truth do you owe the one you love?, WBUR Here & Now](https://www.wbur.org/hereandnow/2023/05/22/you-hurt-my-feelings-holofcener)
9. [A little white lie spells big trouble, ABC Audio](https://digital.abcaudio.com/news/little-white-lie-spells-big-trouble-julia-louis-dreyfus-and-company-new-film-you-hurt-my)
10. [Nicole Holofcener Isn't Holding Back, Vanity Fair](https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2023/05/you-hurt-my-feelings-nicole-holofcener-interview)
11. [Transcript: You Hurt My Feelings conversation, Washington Post Live](https://www.washingtonpost.com/washington-post-live/2023/05/22/transcript-you-hurt-my-feelings-conversation-with-julia-louis-dreyfus-tobias-menzies/)
12. [Is Honesty the Best Policy?: A Review of You Hurt My Feelings, Psychotherapy Networker](https://www.psychotherapynetworker.org/article/is-honesty-the-best-policy-a-review-of-you-hurt-my-feelings/)
13. [You Hurt My Feelings review, The Guardian, January 23, 2023](https://www.theguardian.com/film/2023/jan/23/you-hurt-my-feelings-review-nicole-holofcener-delivers-another-winner)
14. [GLAAD 2024 Studio Responsibility Index](https://assets.glaad.org/m/552a8fb05724255c/original/GLAAD-2024-Studio-Responsibility-Index.pdf)
15. [You Hurt My Feelings (2012), AFI Catalog](https://catalog.afi.com/Film/68730-YOU-HURT-MY-FEELINGS)
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*Topic: Encyclopedia › Arts and culture › Screen and stage › Film and television › Films and standalone screen works › Individual films by title and year › Comedy and romantic films (individual works) › Comedies of 2023*
*Initially written Sep 17, 2026 · Reviewed: Oct 3, 2026; Oct 25, 2026 · Edited: Oct 3, 2026; Oct 25, 2026; Nov 1, 2026 · Last review: Oct 25, 2026*
*Copyright 2026 EdgeChat AI, a subsidiary of Biostate AI.*
License: Edgepedia Community License 1.0, https://www.edgepedia.org/edgepedia/license